Month: October 2021

How To Take Care Of Yourself While A Loved One Is Struggling With Addiction

As difficult as addiction is for the person who is going through it, it can also be incredibly difficult for the people who care about that person. Here are a few tips that can help you attend to your own mental well-being as you muddle through this taxing situation.

1. Educate Yourself About Addiction

Addiction is an incredibly complex condition that can have a wide variety of contributing factors. Learning about the condition can help you understand that they are suffering from a disease rather than merely being selfish or making bad choices, as well as that while family dynamics can sometimes play a part in triggering an addiction, you are not at fault for your loved one’s disease or for any of their choices.

You may be better able to help your loved one once you know more about the psychological and physical underpinnings of addiction, or at least to have a better idea of where they are coming from. Being educated about addiction will also allow you to better explain your loved one’s condition to others and to help push back against society-wide stigmatizing beliefs about the condition.

2. Don’t Let Healthy Habits Fall By The Wayside

Aside from the fact that you deserve self-care regardless of a loved one’s addiction, you will be of no use to them if you drive yourself to the point of a mental or physical breakdown. Though paying attention to even your basic needs can feel difficult or even selfish when your loved one may be going in and out of crisis, you should still make an effort not to let the stress drive you to adopt unhealthy habits.

Simple things like eating regular nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and getting enough exercise are essential to keeping your mental and physical health on track. Since yoga has a meditative component, it may also be a particularly good choice as a stress relieving exercise break!

3. Set Clear Boundaries

As much as you want to be there for your loved one, there is only so much of yourself that you can give, and, taken to the extreme, your earnest attempts at help may actually enable them to continue in their unhealthy habits. It can be difficult to toe the line between wanting to make it clear that you still care and are not excommunicating them for their drug use and inadvertently playing a part in it, setting and holding yourself to clear boundaries when it comes to your loved one could be a great start.

For example, perhaps you will not take phone calls after a certain time, not allow the person in your home if they are intoxicated, or not provide them with money if they are likely to use it to fund drug use. Depending on the nature of relationship, at a certain point you may even want to consider withdrawing from it entirely for the sake of your mental health, painful as that may be, at least until they have committed to finding appropriate treatment.

4. Make Time To Connect And Destress

In order to maintain a healthy support system, it’s important that you not neglect other relationships in your life in favor of your relationship with an addict. Something as simple as scheduling a coffee date or movie night with a trusted friend could be a great way to destress and connect, ensuring that your loved one’s issues do not become all-consuming for you.

You may also find it helpful to begin attending a support group specifically for the loved ones of those struggling with addiction, where you will be able to build camaraderie and friendships with others in similar situations. In sharing your story and listening to the stories of others, you may be able to find not only commiseration but advice, empathy, and hope.

In the spirit of destressing, you may also find it useful to take up a relaxing hobby. Aside from exercise, pursuits like the creative arts, gardening, or baking can help keep you busy as a respite from your worries and elevate your mood and give you a sense of productivity even when matters with your loved one are not going as well as you have hoped. In the same vein, dedicating your time to some sort of charity project, maybe even one related to those struggling with addiction, may help you heal and give you a sense of purpose.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

A loved one’s addiction is liable to bring out all kinds of emotions in you—anger, depression, guilt, shame, fear—a lot for anyone to sort out! You may not be able to cope with it all on your own, and there’s no shame in that. Enlisting the help of a therapist can help you to work through your feelings and to learn coping skills with which you can better manage them, allowing you to maintain a sense of calm that will make you better able to handle stressors and to deal with your loved one even in intense circumstances.

There may be other cases in the course of a loved one’s addiction in which professional intervention becomes necessary. If matters get so extreme that you believe your loved one has become a danger to themselves but remains unwilling to seek treatment, you may find it beneficial to reach out to one of our skilled intervention counselors to help you get through to your loved one.

If an intervention is unsuccessful and the situation is severe enough to warrant it, they will also be able to help you through the process of filing a Marchman Act petition, which may allow for your loved one to be involuntarily committed to a rehabilitation facility. If this becomes the case, feel free to reach out to us any time at 833-497-3808 to learn more or to contact us using this form.

Understanding And Confronting Denial In Addiction

Suggesting to a loved one that they may need treatment for substance abuse is never an easy conversation. But it can be even harder if your loved one doesn’t even want to admit that they have a problem—in other words, if your loved one is in denial.

What is Denial?

Denial is a well-documented defense mechanism often seen in people who are in the grips of addiction. This mechanism is thought to occur mostly unconsciously, and to occur when someone feels unable to face the negative emotions that would ensue if they were able to face the full truth of their situation. 

When the full truth of their situation is a full-blown addiction to drugs or alcohol, it is easy to understand why these negative emotions might be too much to bear. This is because when someone who has regularly been numbing themselves with drugs or alcohol realizes and admits that they have a problem, they will have to face the fact that they have no other option than to get sober, which will cause them a great deal of anxiety and sadness if they feel that they do not know how to cope with life without using substances. 

Admitting that they have a drug problem may also invoke a great deal of shame, as they are essentially admitting that they have been unable to handle this problem on their own, which could be very threatening to their ego. It may also involve coming to grips with guilt as they face the full truth of the negative consequences that their addiction has caused. 

Signs of Denial/ Common Denial Tactics 

Denial of a substance abuse problem can take many different forms, but here is a list of some of the most common ways that an addict may try to deny that they have a problem.

1. Minimizing

An addict may point to the fact that they are still able to function, or that their problem isn’t as bad as it could be, as justification for why they do not have a problem or do not need treatment. 

E.g: “Lots of people drink everyday/use drugs sometimes. What’s the big deal? “

This minimization can extend to downplaying the risks and consequences of their continual drug use. E.g:

“It’s just a little DUI, I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal of it!”

“Yeah, I know that some people overdose on heroin, but that’s not going to happen to me.” 

2. Claiming Control

It may too threatening for a drug addict to admit they are not actually in control of their substance abuse even if this is the case. Thus, they may consistently claim that they can stop anytime they want to while demonstrating no ability to curb or set limits on their consumption.

One way that this might manifest is an addict pointing to the fact that they were able to go for a short period of time without using as evidence that they are fine while conveniently downplaying the fact that they went right back to their problematic habits afterward.

Or, they may point out to their ability to maintain certain limits, eg, “I never drink or use drugs while at work or while driving,” or “It isn’t as if I shoot up every day” as proof that they are in control when other aspects of their behavior show that this is not in fact the case.

3. Rationalizing

Someone who is exhibiting denial in the course of a substance abuse problem may also deny responsibility for their problem, or deny that their problem necessitates an intervention or treatment, rather than denying that they have a problem per se. 

For instance, they may point out the benefits their substance abuse gives them while ignoring all of the pitfalls. They might claim that they cannot stop using because drugs helps them to relax, socialize, or be more productive. They may also try to assert that they have no choice but to use drugs because they have a traumatic past or suffer from a mental illness. 

While these are potential factors in causing or reinforcing someone’s drug abuse that should be respected and taken seriously, they should always be addressed through appropriate mental health treatment or other healthier coping skills rather than used as by an addict as an excuse for continual drug abuse. 

Are You In Denial?

It’s also important to remember that the phenomenon of denial is in no way limited to people suffering from addiction. Denial as to the seriousness of the situation can also occur in the loved ones of someone who has a substance abuse problem.

It can be scary to admit to yourself that someone you care about has lost control of their use of drugs or alcohol, and, depending on your relationship to them, it might also bring up feelings of shame, guilt, or helplessness.

For instance, if your child or spouse is suffering from addiction, you may deny to yourself that they have a problem, or deny the seriousness of that problem, to avoid confronting issues in your relationship or the idea that you have been a bad parent or partner.

In truth, your loved one may be abusing drugs for all kinds of complicated reasons that have nothing to do with you, and the fact that you are committed enough to try to help them to be considering formal intervention services shows how much you actually care about their well-being.

The danger here, though, is that your denial will allow you to justify enabling behavior, which you might minimize or rationalize in much the same way the addict rationalizes their drug abuse. Helping an addict to function despite their serious substance abuse or even simply not intervening if they pose a clear danger to themselves or others could allow them to continue indefinitely on an incredibly destructive path.

What To Do If Someone Is In Denial

Denial is a relatively common stage in the process of coming to grips with an addiction problem, and the fact that your loved one is currently in denial in no way means they will be never be able to come to grips with their substance abuse and eventually achieve a full recovery. 

However, if you wait for them to reach that point on their own, the terrifying truth is that they may cause irreversible to damage to their health, invoke lifelong legal consequences, or, in the worst case scenario, lose their life to an overdose or an intoxication-related accident before they are ready to face their disorder on their own.

This is true even of an addict who does not deny that they have a problem but continually claims that they are going to get help “eventually” or “when they are ready” despite the fact that negative consequences are amassing in the meantime.

Thus, it may be necessary for you to confront them about their problem rather than wait for them to come to their senses. If you do go this route, try to approach them when they are in a calm, sober state rather than when they are intoxicated or emotional, and try to come at the matter from a reasoned, rational place rather than focusing on your own negative emotions or condemning the addict for their behavior. 

Instead of trying to invoke guilt or shame, emphasize the concrete proof that their behavior is out of control: for instance, you can try pointing out the number of alcoholic drinks they are having per day, or making a list of all of the negative consequences their drug addiction has caused them. Then, calmly explain why you are concerned and the risks that they face if they continue on their current path, and offer any emotional and practical support you can to help them in pursuing the appropriate treatment.

If this all seems a little overwhelming, you should also know that you don’t have to go at this alone. If you are worried about a loved one who is currently struggling with addiction, you could also enlist the help of one of our skilled intervention counselors to act as a buffer between  and to help you find the most effective way to convey your concern.

In extreme cases, if your loved one remains unresponsive and deep in denial even after a professionally guided confrontation, our intervention counselor will be able to guide you through the process of filing a Marchman Act petition.  

This Marchman Act petition will, if successful, require your loved one to be involuntarily committed to a drug treatment program, in which mental health professionals will be able to gradually chip away at their denial and help them find a path toward lasting sobriety. 

To learn more about the Marchman Act and how our skilled intervention services can help your loved one today, call us anytime at 833-497-3808 or contact us using this form.

Who Can File A Marchman Act?

If you’ve stumbled upon this site and read any of the other marvelous resources that we provide about Florida’s Marchman Act, you may already know that the statute allows for the involuntary commitment of someone whose impairment due to a substance use disorder has rendered them “unable to make rational decisions regarding treatment.” 

The Marchman Act also applies if someone who is impaired due to substance abuse has inflicted or attempted to inflict harm to themselves or to others. 

Now, there is a lot more fine print to the law than that, and its full text can be found on the official website for Florida’s legislature here if you’d like to look into the nitty gritty details.

But one thing that is relatively straightforward about the Marchman Act is the matter of who has the power to file it, and the thankfully short answer to that question is “almost anyone,” with a few notable qualifications. 

While you will have an easier time if you are the spouse, relative, or guardian of the person that you would like to enact a Marchman Act petition to protect, that is not the only way that the law offers concerned loved ones you to go about the matter.

If you have one of those first degree connections to the person who you seek to commit, you can serve as the sole petitioner for them, as can you if you are the parent, legal guardian, or legal custodian of a child under eighteen. 

But if you have some other relationship to the person you believe needs involuntary commitment due to their substance abuse, there’s no need to fear. Three unrelated adults who need not have any particular professional or personal association with the patient but who have “personal knowledge of a person’s substance abuse impairment,” can also file a Marchman Act petition. 


So, these three people could be friends, teachers, co-workers, non-spouse significant others, or really anyone to the patient, as long as all three are willing to go on the record and put in the work to testify as to the patient’s need for involuntary commitment due to their impairment from substance abuse. 


Medical professionals who have certain relationships to the patient who is impaired by substance abuse can also enact an emergency Marchman Act petition. These include the person’s therapist, their physician, or the director of a facility licensed under Chapter 397, Florida Statutes for the purposes of providing care and treatment for patients with substance abuse illnesses or his or her designee. 


Finally, a law enforcement officer who witnesses a patient exhibiting a need for substance abuse treatment “in a public place” or “in a way that attracts the officer’s attention,” can have them placed in protective custody for further evaluation under the Marchman Act. 


Calling law enforcement on someone who is behaving in this manner in the hopes of them initiating Marchman Act proceedings should be an absolute last resort, but, in certain cases, it may be an effective method of getting your loved one into treatment. 


In this sort of high stakes situation, it’s possible that the Baker Act may also apply. The Baker Act is another Florida statute dealing with involuntary commitment, but it generally covers a need for treatment relating to mental illness rather than relating to substance abuse. 


However, since mental illness and substance abuse can so often overlap, the Baker Act may sometimes be appropriate for someone whose impairment due to substance abuse has made them an immediate danger to themselves or others.


While a Baker Act can technically be filed directly to the court, it is much more commonly enacted by law enforcement officers, medical professionals, and mental health professionals who observe a patient’s potentially life threatening behavior. 


So, if you request the assistance of one of these professionals, most likely by calling emergency services, you may be able to play an important part in making them aware of the situation and ensuring that a Baker Act is enacted if it is necessary. 


Someone cannot be held under the Baker Act for as long as they can under the Marchman Act, but it could still be an important measure in keeping someone safe if they pose an immediate danger to themselves or others and an important first step in obtaining further treatment for them. 

If you have any questions about this information or about the Marchman or Baker Acts more generally, feel free to get in touch with one of our skilled intervention counselors. While there are never any guarantees in a situation as fraught as one that calls for the filing of a Marchman Act petition, we can guide you through the process to the best of our ability and give our all to ensure that you get the help you need. Call 833-497-3808 to learn more today.

How The Marchman Act Got Its Name

According to the dictionary, the word marchman means “a person living on the border territories.” At least in some vague metaphorical sense, one could see how that description applies to someone struggling with addiction, who is living on the outskirts of our reality, technically “here” but largely lost in their own world of substance abuse. 

But the Marchman Act is actually named after a specific person, and quite a colorful character at that. It’s the reverend Hal S. Marchman, who is known for the many years he spent as a chaplain for NASCAR as well as for his work in advocating for people who struggle with substance abuse.

Like many of the most admirable crusaders in the fight against addiction, Marchman drew inspiration from his own struggle with the disease. A book published about Marchman’s life, Shalom and Amen: The Life and Work of Hal Marchman, the Racers’ Preacher, itself gets its name from Marchman’s trademark ending to his prayers, which showcases his inclusivity and open-heartedness in its incorporation of both traditionally Christian and traditionally Jewish language.

According to Shalom, Marchman described himself as a “drunk in recovery” who became a role model for others and had over six decades of sobriety under his belt by the time he died in 2009. As an ahead-of-his-time advocate for “the community that lives on the streets,” Marchman also established various church programs and community treatment centers for alcoholics and drug addicts as well as his own Daytona Beach rehabilitation program, where his direct counsel helped inspire thousands in their recoveries.

That isn’t Marchman’s only legacy, though; his alma mater Stetson University has also named the Hal S. Marchman Program for Civic and Social Responsibility after the reverend. The school is admiring of his commitment to “bettering the lives of the marginalized and worked to help those with chemical dependencies and others who tend to be forgotten by society at large,” and names his life, work, and values inspirational. 

And then, of course, there’s the Marchman Act. From 1970 until 1993, Florida law actually had two separate statutes dealing with involuntary commitment, one that covered incapacitation related to alcohol abuse and another one that dealt with abuse of other drugs.

But given how often alcohol and drug abuse co-occur, and the potential for confusion due to slight differences in the terms of involuntary admission under each of the two laws, state legislator Steven Wise wrote a new statute that would apply in both circumstances to add some clarity to the proceedings.

Given Hal S. Marchman’s tireless advocacy for those struggling with addiction, he was an obvious choice to be honored as the law’s namesake, and given the many people that the Marchman Act has and will continue to help over the years, it’s a fitting honor and remembrance.

Since then, the Marchman Act has been altered slightly but remained fundamentally intact in providing a way that concerned loved ones can court-order involuntary commitment for someone who is incapacitated due to their substance use provided that certain conditions are met. 

And while ordering a loved one to get addiction treatment against their will is certainly never something to be taken lightly, Hal S. Marchman’s own story of recovery from addiction and the many he helped inspire remind us why it could be worth the struggle. With the right treatment, someone can be brought back from addiction’s dismal border territories and back into a life filled with hope and light. If you would like to learn more about how our skilled intervention counselors can guide you through the process of filing a Marchman Act petition, feel free to call us today at 833-497-3808. 




How The Tragic Story Behind Casey’s Law Illustrates The Need For The Marchman Act

While the Marchman Act, which allows for the involuntary commitment of someone who has lost their capacity to undertake the appropriate actions to procure treatment for their substance abuse by themselves, is specific to Florida, most other states in the USA have their own version of an involuntary commitment act. In fact, a full 46 of them do, and in Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana, the law allowing for involuntary treatment to be court-ordered is called Casey’s Law. 


The law is named after Matthew “Casey” Wethington, an “energetic young man who enjoyed life until it was “taken” by drugs.” He lived a largely typical middle-class suburban life, enjoying pastimes like soccer, baseball, basketball, wrestling, collecting baseball cards, playing video games, playing the guitar, riding bikes, and skateboarding.


But, despite the fact that Casey’s parents wanted nothing more than to give him the ‘right’ to a life in recovery, they were unable to get their son to consent to treatment. Tragically, he passed away due to a heroin overdose on August 19, 2002, when he was only 23 years old.


His parents were determined to use their son’s story and legacy to ensure that no other parents would have to suffer the same fate, which led them to lobby for Casey’s Law, which was officially put on the books in Kentucky in 2004 and later expanded to Ohio and Indiana.


Casey’s parents suggest that enforced treatment would have been warranted because their son’s development was arrested at the age of fourteen or fifteen, when he started using drugs. While such an assertion is likely true, it’s also important to remember that even someone who became of legal age before they started abusing drugs could regress, under the influence, to a more immature and irrational mental state, clouded by disorientation and denial.


“Every effort to intervene on his disease was stymied because he was over the age of 18 and was not in the criminal justice system. I was told that “he has to want to lose enough and hit bottom.” That is contrary to the best practices for treatment of any other chronic, progressive, and potentially fatal disease. With other diseases, we know that the sooner the disease is recognized, the longer it’s treated, the better the chances for recovery,” Casey’s mother, Charlotte Wethington, poignantly writes on a website informing about Casey’s Law and Casey’s story. 


Her words do in fact have some significant academic evidence to back them up, with one study finding that involuntary forms of treatment actually produce greater adherence to treatment protocols because patients have an external reason not to drop out of treatment.


Though the statute was initially used sparingly, petitions filed under Casey’s Law have become more and more as the opioid epidemic has continued to take hold of the midwest. Casey’s parents also hope to further their son’s legacy by bringing Casey’s Law to even more states, and the process to enact is has already been started in West Virginia and in Georgia. 


To end this sad story on a more positive note, some of the stories of people suffering from addiction whose loved ones were forced to intervene using Casey’s law actually do have happier endings. Matt Peterson’s father Paul was at one point so worried about his son, who was sleeping in his car and subsisting entirely on heroin and stolen peanut M and M’s, that he stood in front of his son’s closet picking out burial clothes. 


But when after Paul and his wife were able to order Matt into involuntary treatment thanks to Casey’s Law, he was eventually able to recover, and has now been sober for more than six years.


In another memorable Casey’s Law story, a couple who credit treatment mandated by Casey’s Law with saving their lives actually gave their son the middle name “Casey” to honor the statute’s namesake. 


Using involuntary commitment acts like Casey’s Law or the Florida Marchman Act isn’t without its pitfalls, and it certainly isn’t easy. But as these stories attest, sometimes it is the best and only option when a loved one is severely incapacitated by substance abuse. 


So if you are a Florida resident who believes that someone you love is at risk of suffering the same tragic fate that befell Casey Wethington,  it may be time to consider using the Marchman Act. To learn more about the logistics of filing a Marchman Act petition and how one of our skilled intervention counselors can help you through the process, please contact us anytime at 833-497-3808.